What kind of parenting causes anxiety?

Anxiety disorders are some of the most common mental health conditions. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 30% of adults will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. And research suggests that the kind of parenting a child receives can play a significant role in whether or not they develop chronic anxiety later in life.

Table of Contents

What are the different types of anxiety disorders?

There are several different types of anxiety disorders that can develop in childhood or adulthood:

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) – Excessive worry about many different things

Social anxiety disorder – Extreme fear around social settings and interactions
Separation anxiety disorder – Intense fear when separated from parents or caregivers
Specific phobias – Irrational fear of specific objects or situations

Panic disorder – Repeated panic attacks and fear of future attacks
Agoraphobia – Avoidance of places or situations that may cause panic
Selective mutism – Inability to speak in certain social settings

While genes and brain chemistry play a role, researchers have found that childhood experiences – especially parenting behaviors – are strongly connected to anxiety.

How does parenting contribute to anxiety?

Various parenting factors have been linked to increased anxiety in kids. Here are some of the most significant ones according to research:

Overprotection

Parents who are excessively overprotective and shield their children from perceived threats and challenges may unintentionally exacerbate anxiety. Kids never learn how to cope on their own.

Rejection

Children who feel rejected or unwanted by parents are at higher risk for anxiety disorders. Emotional neglect also contributes.

Criticism

Too much parental criticism leads to low self-esteem in children, a major contributor to anxiety. Constantly correcting or critiquing kids can damage their confidence.

Control

Rigid, controlling parenting often involves lots of rules and expectations for kids that restrict their choices. This prevents independence and heightens anxiety.

Perfectionism

Unrealistically high expectations from parents can drive excessive perfectionism in children. Perfectionism is strongly linked to higher anxiety.

Modeling

Children pick up on anxiety from parents. Parental modeling of anxious behaviors or modeling the importance of anxiety contributes.

Lack of warmth

Low parental warmth, affection, and bonding is associated with greater risk of anxiety. Positive attachment is protective against anxiety.

Trauma

Parental abuse, neglect, substance abuse, mental illness, domestic violence and other Adverse Childhood Experiences can severely heighten a child’s anxiety levels.

Medical issues

Certain chronic medical conditions that start in childhood, like heart conditions, diabetes or asthma, can trigger anxiety, especially if parents don’t help kids manage medical trauma.

What’s the connection between parenting behaviors and child anxiety?

Researchers have identified various ways that parenting contributes to anxiety risk:

Excessive parental control and lack of autonomy prevents kids from developing coping skills.
Criticism and rejection destroy self-esteem that serves as a buffer against anxiety.
Parents model and reinforce anxious thinking styles.

Lack of secure child-parent attachment fails to provide a safe base for exploring the world.
Perfectionist parenting interferes with kids’ ability to tolerate uncertainty and imperfection.

In essence, certain parenting behaviors rob children of the chance to develop their own healthy stress response and instill a sense of threat and uncertainty instead. The child brain then starts to over-perceive normal challenges as dangerous or threatening.

How does authoritarian parenting impact child anxiety levels?

Authoritarian parenting involves strict obedience to parents, little negotiation, and harsh punishment. This regimented style has been linked to higher anxiety for several reasons:

Excessive parental control prevents independence.
Harsh punishment leads to fear of making mistakes.

Lack of autonomy hinders development of self-regulation skills.
Absence of warmth, nurturing, and empathy from parents.
Overly high expectations increase fear of failure.

Authoritarian parenting often coincides with psychological control – manipulation, guilt trips, and shaming kids for “disobedience.” This elicits greater anxiety by making children feel incapable of handling situations.

What are some examples of authoritarian parenting?

Some examples of authoritarian parenting behaviors that can contribute to anxiety include:

Micromanaging most aspects of a child’s choices and daily activities.

Setting rigid rules with severe consequences for disobedience.
Yelling, insulting, or using corporal punishment when kids disobey.
Refusing to explain the reason behind rules.

Shaming kids for poor performance versus encouraging effort.
Conveying that fearing authority is more important than independent thinking.
Offering little warmth, praise, or empathy for mistakes.

Taken together, these behaviors communicate to children that the world should be feared, not explored. The rigid constraints hinder the child’s ability to progressively self-regulate their choices, thoughts, and feelings in developmentally appropriate ways.

How can authoritarian parents modify their approach to help prevent anxiety?

If an authoritarian parent recognizes that their behaviors may be elevating their child’s anxiety, some changes can help:

Provide lots of warmth, affection, and nurturing when the child succeeds and when they struggle.

Minimize coercive control and increasingly involve the child in family rules and decisions.
Offer empathy and understanding when rules are broken, not anger and shame.
Model calm, flexible thinking and praise the child’s efforts at self-regulation.

Encourage open dialogue about emotions and worries without judgment.
Build the child’s self-esteem by acknowledging small daily successes.
Collaboratively solve problems with the child versus dictating solutions.

Even small steps toward a more democratic parenting approach with empathy, warmth, and guidance can start to ease anxiety by helping the child feel capable, understood, and supported as they take on new challenges.

What impact does helicopter parenting have on anxiety?

Helicopter parenting involves parents who are overly focused on their children’s experiences and problems, hovering over them to ensure they avoid any struggles. This parenting approach can also heighten anxiety risk.

Helicopter parenting behaviors like these can backfire by amplifying anxiety:

Intervening right away when children encounter any difficulty.
Removing obstacles and challenges so kids never learn frustration tolerance.
Excessive monitoring of homework and activities.

Micromanaging children’s choices to ensure “success.”
Immediately solving children’s disputes with friends or siblings.
Being overinvolved in children’s emotions.

Constant intrusion prevents children from developing their own resources for managing difficulties. Facing some adversity helps kids build coping abilities and resilience that protect against anxiety.

What are helpful parenting approaches if a child has anxiety?

If parents have a child that already struggles with excessive anxiety or an anxiety disorder, certain parenting tactics can help:

Remain calm and validate the child’s worries without reinforcing them as excessive.

Model brave thinking and behavior – “I was scared at first too, but discovered I could handle it.”
Praise small acts of courage and any efforts to manage anxiety.
Don’t accommodate anxiety – gently challenge avoidance when safe.

Encourage the child to tolerate uncertainty and imperfection.
Collaborate on solving problems versus dictating “easy” solutions.
Avoid excessive reassurance, which reinforces the anxiety.

Professional counseling should be sought if anxiety is disrupting school, social life, or family functioning.

What parenting problems tend to co-occur with anxiety disorders?

Certain problematic parenting patterns often accompany or contribute to childhood anxiety disorders:

Rejection – Parents who find their anxious child frustrating may become impatient, critical, or rejecting.

Coercive control – Parents attempt to rigidly control the anxious child’s choices to prevent perceived trouble.
Modeling – Anxious parents model and reinforce worried thinking and avoidant behavior.
Accommodation – Parents repeatedly accommodate their child’s anxiety to restore calm.

These patterns unintentionally worsen anxiety by conveying to the child that they aren’t capable of handling uncertainty and by depriving them of learning opportunities.

How can parents of an anxious child get help?

If a child has significant anxiety, parents don’t need to struggle alone. Some helpful resources include:

Reading parenting books, websites, or taking classes on childhood anxiety management.

Joining a parent support group to learn from other parents.
Seeking guidance from the child’s pediatrician.
Getting the child evaluated by a pediatric psychiatrist or psychologist.

Having the child participate in cognitive behavioral therapy.
Working with the child’s school counselor.

With professional help, emotional support, and education, parents can help their anxious child build essential coping skills while learning to respond in a way that empowers, not disables.

Conclusion

A wide range of parenting missteps – from authoritarian control to excessive accommodation – can amplify childhood anxiety. Thankfully, anxiety is highly treatable, especially when caught early. With greater parenting awareness, professional help when needed, family support, and practice facing manageable fears, children can overcome anxiety and gain mastery.