An immature person refers to someone who lacks the qualities of an adult, such as responsibility, rational thinking, and self-control. Immature people are often associated with childish behavior and an underdeveloped personality. There are many terms used to describe immature individuals based on the different aspects of their behavior.
What Does It Mean To Be Immature?
Immaturity generally involves the following characteristics:
- Difficulty delaying gratification or making sacrifices for long-term goals
- Reactive emotional responses and outbursts
- Self-centered thinking and lack of consideration for others
- Blaming external factors rather than taking personal responsibility
- Difficulty seeing situations from other perspectives
- Black-and-white thinking rather than nuanced reasoning
- Difficulty regulating feelings and impulses
- Overly dramatic reactions to minor problems or setbacks
- Preoccupation with oneself and one’s immediate needs and desires
- Lack of forethought about consequences before acting
Immature people often have underdeveloped executive functioning skills which are needed for rational thinking, problem-solving, self-control, and planning. They may lack emotional intelligence and social skills as well.
Common Terms for Immature People
Here are some common terms used to describe immature individuals:
Childish
Childish refers to silly, frivolous, and juvenile behaviors commonly seen in children. Childish adults may throw temper tantrums, sulk, or act in petty ways when they don’t get their way. They may also lack seriousness and gravitas in their demeanor.
Infantile
Infantile describes extreme immaturity characteristic of an infant or baby. Infantile adults are totally dependent on others, incapable of meeting their own basic needs, and have an extremely poor grasp on reality.
Juvenile
Juvenile refers to being characteristic of childhood and adolescence. Juvenile behavior in adults can include being irresponsible, giggling frequently, lack of manners, and poor decision making.
Immature
Immature is the most general and commonly used term to describe childish, infantile, and juvenile behaviors in adults. It refers to a lack of development mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.
Peter Pan Syndrome
Peter Pan syndrome refers to an adult who refuses to grow up and take on adult responsibilities. They live in a make-believe world, avoid Commitments, and often feel entitled to constant happiness.
Man-Child
A man-child is a term to describe an adult male who retains many childish traits. This can include irresponsibility, being dependent on others, thrill-seeking behavior, and difficulty creating structure and self-discipline.
Girly-girl
Girly-girl refers to a grown woman who enjoys hyper-feminine things, avoids adult responsibilities, and retains interests typical of a teen or tween girl. She may be preoccupied with boys, celebrities, fashion, and social status.
Sheepish
Sheepish behavior involves being shy, timid, and easily embarrassed like an anxious child. Sheepish adults may become flustered and tongue-tied when under pressure. They lack confidence and poise.
Babyish
Babyish means possessing qualities found in an infant like crying for attention, helplessness, silliness, neediness, and excessive cuteness. A babyish adult has failed to mature much past baby-like behaviors.
Kiddie
Kiddie means childish in a silly or frivolous way. Adults who are kiddie lack seriousness and engage in goofy, energetic play more characteristic of young kids.
Puerile
Puerile refers to being silly and immature like a boy prior to puberty. It also means crude, vulgar, or indecent in a childish way. Puerile adults make inappropriate sexual or bathroom jokes.
Silly-billy
A silly-billy is a silly, foolish, or overly playful person. It describes adults who are constantly joking around in vacant or nonsensical ways. They lack seriousness and gravitas.
Adolescent
Though not always pejorative, adolescent behavior in adults can seem developmentally delayed. It includes moodiness, drama, risk-taking, and difficulty considering long-term consequences.
Causes of Immaturity
There are various reasons why certain adults retain immature qualities:
Pampered childhood
Adults who were overly pampered and catered to as children can fail to develop survival skills needed for the adult world. They expect others to take care of their needs.
Lack of responsibilities
Adults who had few chores or duties as kids may lack discipline and self-motivation. They are unaccustomed to hard work and accountability.
Trauma and instability
Chaotic or abusive childhoods can force individuals to remain mentally and emotionally young to survive. They did not get to fully experience certain developmental phases.
Mental health issues
Certain conditions like personality disorders, autism spectrum disorder, ADD, PTSD, anxiety, and depression can make it harder for some adults to function at full maturity.
Spoiled partner
Having an enabling partner who takes care of everything can hinder an imbalanced adult’s motivation to grow up and contribute. Their partner essentially replaces their parent.
Fear of responsibility
Some adults actively resist maturity because they are afraid of the pressures involved with adult responsibilities like providing for a family.
Glorification of youth
Societal trends that venerate youth, party culture, hyper-sexuality, social status, and escapism help perpetuate immature mindsets in adults.
Economic factors
The high costs of living, education, and childrearing can prolong financial dependence on parents. This enables prolonged adolescent behavior.
Is Immaturity Always Bad?
While the term immaturity generally has negative connotations, retaining some childlike qualities as an adult can also have benefits. These include:
- Creativity – Imagination and playfulness foster innovation.
- Open-mindedness – Adults can become jaded, while children are naturally curious.
- Joy – Immature adults may find more delight in everyday pleasures.
- Exuberance – Childlike zeal brings energy to pursuits.
- Wonder – An appreciation for the magical aspects of life declines with age.
- Spontaneity – Adults tend to become more cautious and regimented.
The healthiest adults integrate both childlike and mature qualities. They work hard when needed, but also know when to lighten up and not take things too seriously. The problems arise when immaturity becomes excessive, resulting in irresponsible or reckless behavior.
Dealing with Immature Adults
If you have an immature person in your life, here are some tips:
Evaluate whether change is possible
Some people have more capacity for change and growth than others. Personality issues and mental health conditions could limit their abilities.
Avoid enabling
Refrain from sheltering them from natural consequences. Don’t swoop in to pay their bills or clean up their messes. They need to experience results from their actions to grow.
Communicate expectations
Clearly articulate your boundaries and what you will no longer tolerate. But be prepared they might not comprehend or cooperate.
Don’t get drawn into dramatics
When they have outbursts or meltdowns, remain calm. Do not mirror their histrionics or give excessive reassurance.
Examine your own behavior
Consider ways you might enable their dependence on you or prevent them from suffering natural outcomes.
Accept what you can’t change
You can support positive change but you cannot force maturity. At some point, you may have to accept their limitations or end toxic relationships.
Set an example
Model responsible behavior, self-discipline, steadiness, and forethought. But also be warm, spontaneous, and lighthearted at times.
Appeal to their aspirations
Tap into their dreams and goals. Help them see how developing maturity will help them create the life they want.
Praise small improvements
Reinforce steps in the right direction with acknowledgment and validation. Progress often happens slowly.
Signs of Maturity
While the path to maturity is different for everyone, some signs of an adult gaining maturity include:
- Taking responsibility for their actions and emotions
- Having concern for other’s needs and not just their own
- Demonstrating self-control and thoughtfulness
- Having integrity and sound moral values
- Ability to realistically assess themselves and situations
- Willingness to acknowledge mistakes and learn from experience
- Ability to delay gratification and work toward long-term goals
- Having deep relationships instead of superficial ones
- Being reliable, organized, and conscientious
- Possessing humility and perspective about their place in the world
Gaining maturity involves acquiring wisdom and perspective that comes with learning life lessons over time. It can help to reflect on your own growth in order to cultivate patience and compassion for those still developing maturity.
When Does Immaturity Become a Serious Problem?
Occasional childish behaviors don’t necessarily indicate a serious issue. However, if immaturity is preventing an adult from functioning adequately, seek help. Signs immaturity has become clinical and requires assessment from a professional include:
- Inability to hold a job or complete education
- Constant domestic chaos and inability to run a household
- Destructive risk-taking, particularly with drugs and alcohol
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harm tendencies
- Explosive emotional outbursts combined with an inability to self-soothe
- Escalating interpersonal conflicts, isolation, and lack of stable relationships
- Persistent denial of personal responsibility
- Reckless sexual exploits and lack of impulse control
- Financial issues like chronic debt, evictions, and bankruptcy
- Inability to consider the future or real-life consequences
If an immature person exhibits multiple issues like those above, it may be indicative of a pervasive developmental or personality disorder requiring professional evaluation. Some possibilities include borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia.
When to Get Counseling
Seeking counseling can be beneficial for both the immature individual and those affected by their behavior. Therapy helps address underlying causes of extreme immaturity. It provides skills to improve emotional regulation, executive functioning, introspection, relationship abilities, and pursuit of mature goals.
For family members, counseling can help establish boundaries, management strategies, and insight into healthy relating. Processing feelings of anger, guilt, pity, and grief with a therapist is constructive. Learning how much you can help versus what is beyond your control reduces frustration.
Finding a counselor experienced with the specific symptoms or diagnoses relevant to the immature individual is ideal. They understand proven techniques and interventions. With professional guidance, more lasting growth may be possible.
Acceptance and Letting Go
In cases of immaturity related to ingrained personality disorders or neurodevelopmental differences, progress may plateau despite best efforts. A degree of acceptance and letting go is often required. It is crucial to detach in a caring way for your own well-being when unable to get through to someone.
Focus energy on leading your best life. Limit time with draining individuals. Seek fulfilling relationships with mature, stable people you can count on. Be at peace knowing you did what you could. Their path ultimately does not define you. With self-compassion, you can still live joyfully.
Conclusion
Maturity involves flexibly adapting to life’s complexities with wisdom earned through experience. While immature adults can inspire compassion, it is also reasonable to feel frustrated. Establish healthy boundaries and manage your reactions. Avoid enabling while also extending grace, when possible. With insight into an immature person’s limitations, you can find some peace. Expecting perfection usually ends in disappointment. But, with patience and care, growth can happen, even if gradual. As long as you remain thoughtful in your responses, you are doing the best you can.