Cuddling is often seen as something more associated with women, but men have just as much of a need for physical closeness and affection. Science shows that cuddling offers benefits related to stress, happiness, health, relationships and more. Understanding the research on why men need cuddling can help men and their partners appreciate this important component of bonding, intimacy and well-being.
Do men crave physical affection?
Yes, men absolutely crave physical affection. While stereotypes suggest men are less affectionate than women, research confirms men have a strong biological drive for touch and physical closeness.
Some key evidence on men’s craving for physical affection includes:
- Brain chemistry research shows that cuddling helps release oxytocin (the “love hormone”) in men just like it does in women. Oxytocin is linked to bonding, affection and well-being.
- Affection triggers release of dopamine in the brain’s reward centers in both men and women. Dopamine provides pleasurable feelings and reinforces behaviors.
- Men show the same physiological responses as women do to gentle touches from a romantic partner. These include reduced blood pressure, lower stress hormone levels and increased feelings of security.
- Touch from a male partner can actually reduce pain sensitivity in men, indicating it provides feelings of comfort and security.
- Even the most masculine men desire gentle caresses, hugs, hand-holding and other affection from their partners, though societal norms cause some men to avoid asking for it.
Overall, science clearly demonstrates that men are neurologically and physiologically wired for physical closeness despite cultural beliefs that men are less desiring of it.
Why do men need cuddling?
Men need cuddling for many of the same reasons women do. The main benefits of cuddling for men include:
- Stress reduction – Cuddling releases oxytocin and decreases cortisol (the stress hormone), which helps men feel more calm and relaxed.
- Better sleep – The oxytocin and decreased cortisol released while cuddling enable deeper, more restful sleep for men.
- Building intimacy – Cuddling helps men feel closer and more connected to their partners, contributing to stronger relationships, intimacy and overall happiness.
- Decreased inflammation – Cortisol negatively impacts health, while oxytocin has anti-inflammatory effects. Cuddling thus reduces inflammation-related health risks for men.
- Lower blood pressure – Cuddling can significantly reduce blood pressure in men, lowering risks for hypertension and cardiovascular disease.
- Improved mental health – The hormonal benefits of cuddling reduce depression and anxiety in men and improve overall mental well-being.
Additionally, research shows that men who feel their partners are affectionate and responsive to their needs have greater satisfaction and stability in the relationship. Cuddling and other physical affection clearly plays an important role for men both biologically and psychologically.
Do men need non-sexual touch?
Absolutely. Research confirms men benefit just as much as women from gentle, non-sexual affection such as cuddling.
While many men do have stronger sex drives than women on average, men also crave non-sexual physical intimacy and touch. Some key findings demonstrating men’s need for non-sexual affection include:
- Men gain measurable benefits from cuddling such as reduced stress even without sexual activity occurring.
- Most men desire physical affection such as hugging or cuddling on a daily basis.
- Even brief touches from their partner provide men with feelings of comfort, security and being loved.
- Non-sexual physical affection strengthens relationship intimacy for men and motivates them to meet their partner’s needs.
- Men in long-term relationships particularly value non-sexual touch as expressions of love that reaffirm the relationship bond.
Societal myths often hold that men primarily want sex while women want affection. But biologically, men have the same need as women for the hormone benefits and emotional value of gentle physical closeness.
Do men cuddle differently than women?
Men and women actually tend to cuddle and express affection in quite similar ways. However, some differences can occur due to variations in communication styles and societal gender norms.
Some differences that may be seen in how men cuddle include:
- Less verbal communication – Men may rely more on non-verbal cues to signal desire for cuddling or enjoyment while cuddling.
- Briefer cuddles – Cultural expectations that men avoid “soft” expressions of intimacy may lead some men to cut cuddles short.
- Less eye contact – Men tend to maintain less direct eye contact while cuddling, though this varies by individual.
- More frequent initiation by women – Men worry more about rejection, so may initiate cuddling less often unless female partners initiate more.
- Closer post-sex cuddling – Cuddling often lasts longer after sex due to hormonal changes, which can overcome masculine reluctance.
However, a man who feels safe, understood and valued by a partner will generally exhibit very similar cuddling habits to women. The need for affection is not gendered, even if cultural pressures can suppress some expressions of it in men.
Do men like being the little spoon?
Being the “little spoon” means being held by one’s partner, and many men greatly enjoy this position while cuddling. Research shows that most men want to be the little spoon sometimes in a relationship.
Benefits and reasons men enjoy being the little spoon include:
- Feeling protected – Men enjoy feeling sheltered and cared for by a partner.
- Being able to relax – Letting the woman be the big spoon allows men to relax and receive affection.
- Release of oxytocin – This bonding hormone still increases when men are held.
- Feeling desired – Being held signals to men that their partner wants closeness.
- Overcoming rigid roles – For men who conform strongly to masculine norms, being the little spoon offers freedom to be vulnerable.
- Changing pace – Altering cuddling positions adds novelty and keeps things interesting for the couple.
Despite societal pressures that men always be “strong” or dominant, the majority of men enjoy feeling the affectionate security of being the little spoon with their partner at times. Letting down their guard this way helps build intimacy.
Do cuddles help male bonding?
Yes, cuddling releases oxytocin which allows men to experience emotional closeness. Cuddling can absolutely help with male social bonding and friendships.
However, cultural pressures make platonic cuddling less common for heterosexual men. Homosexual men tend to engage in more non-sexual cuddling and holding as part of close same-sex friendships.
Still, men can benefit from adding more platonic physical affection to their straight male friendships through actions like:
- Hugging each other in greeting or parting
- Sitting close on a couch rather than distant chairs
- Watching sports or movies together while lightly touching or leaning on each other
- Briefly holding hands during emotional moments
- Putting an arm around a friend’s shoulder to show support
Even small gestures like these provide some of the oxytocin, comfort and connection benefits of cuddling between male friends. As societal attitudes evolve, non-sexual cuddling may become more accepted between straight men.
Do men cuddle after sex?
Yes, men typically enjoy cuddling after sex and relationship research shows cuddling often lasts longer in the post-sex period compared to other times.
Reasons men tend to cuddle more after sex include:
- Sexual arousal and orgasm increase oxytocin, creating bonding effects.
- Vulnerability and openness increase during physical intimacy, enabling more emotional intimacy.
- Masculine reluctance to “appear soft” reduces directly after sex.
- Showing affection builds the pair-bond and shows the partner she is valued.
- Men feel closer and more loving toward their partner post-sex.
While individual preferences vary, the majority of men do gain benefits from extended cuddling following sex. Partners can encourage this by initiating cuddling and verbal reassurance of love during this window of increased intimacy.
Do fathers need to cuddle their children?
Yes, fathers absolutely need to cuddle and show physical affection to their children. Research has uncovered a variety of benefits that cuddling provides for dads and their kids.
Benefits for fathers who cuddle their children include:
- Oxytocin release reduces fathers’ stress and creates bonding between parent and child.
- Children feel more securely attached to affectionate fathers.
- Cuddling infants helps synchronize father’s and baby’s biological clocks.
- Affectionate touching calms crying infants by regulating stress hormones.
- Fathers who cuddle are viewed as more loving by their children.
Additionally, studies of children who grow up with affectionate and cuddling fathers show benefits such as:
- Better stress regulation abilities and resilience.
- Higher self-esteem and social skills.
- Less anxiety or depression later in life.
- Healthier adult relationships.
Cuddling clearly helps cement the father-child bond and provides long-term developmental benefits, demonstrating why cuddling is so important for dads.
Do cuddling parties help single men?
Cuddling parties are group events where adults gather for platonic, non-sexual cuddling and touch. Research indicates these events can provide benefits for single men lacking in positive touch.
Potential advantages of cuddling parties for single men include:
- Oxytocin release reduces cortisol levels and provides feelings of calm.
- A reduction in touch loneliness that many single men experience.
- Pure non-sexual touch in a safe environment without pressure.
- Practice interacting comfortably with women.
- More psychological comfort with non-sexual affection.
However, cuddle parties are not for everyone. Some men may experience awkwardness or prefer more natural connections. But for many, the events do provide needed affection and bonding.
Conclusion
Physical touch is a fundamental human need, and men absolutely require the affection and bonding provided by cuddling. While cultural pressures can constrain male expressions of intimacy, the biological, emotional and relationship benefits of cuddling remain just as important for men as for women. Understanding men’s need for non-sexual touch can enable male partners in all types of relationships to access the full value of this essential human experience.